Memoirs of a DJ

I got this list from a friend of mine - he and his crew regularly put out this newsletter related to their DJ exploits and upcoming events. This list is right on the money, and I can say that as a DJ, I have literally heard every one of the comments below except #6 (what kind of clubs is my friend playing in???), and I agree with all the responses:

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Rules of The Game
To all my deejays out there that spin in the clubs this is for you. I got this from J Rawls who got it from DJ Center who found it on a blog(shout out to DJ Supreme)...Can I get a "check 1-2" from all the deejays that are feeling this??
To all my patrons/party goers please read, pay attention and enjoy your party experience!!

Attention party people. Before requesting songs, making comments or asking questions of the DJ, please read this:

1. "Will you play something good. Something WE CAN DANCE TO" ?!
As a dj I have to play to an entire club of people not just YOU or ONE person. So what YOU may HATE may be someone else's favorite joint.
Not only that but EVERYTHING I play can be danced to in one way or another.

2. "Would you play something with a BEAT" ?!
Are you serious? I know of NO songs I play in night clubs that do not have some sort of a beat.

3. "I don't know who sings it or the name of it"
Well that's not much to go by. So please don't sing it for me. I put up with high dangerous decibal levels all night long. Please do me a huge favor and keep the rendetion of your favoite song toyourself.

4. "EVERYBODY wants to hear it"!
Oh ok, you went through the entire club and took a poll and have been appointed the spokesperson to tell me this?!


5. "EVERYBODY will dance if you play it"!
I'm not going to so, I guess that blows a hole in your theory.

6. "I can get laid if you play it"
Why settle for one night? Buy the cd and get some for a month!

7. "I want to hear it NEXT"
The ONLY person who can get away with that statement is the one that signs my paycheck.

8. "I don't know what I want, what do you have"?
It's way easier for you to go have a few drinks and figure out something you
would like then for me to recite the 10,000 songs I come with.

9. "Hey man, what's up? NOBODY can dance to this"!
It's not really advisable to say when the dancefloor is jam packed (But a lot of you do anyway). However, even if there is only one person on the floor it contradicts your statement.

Here are some assorted things NOT to say:
If you request a song and I say "I just played that". Don't say "Well I just got here". That does not make an ounce of difference. Don't ask me "Is this the only kind of music you play"? When you go to eat Chinese food do you ask for mexican? Rock clubs play rock. New Wave clubs play new wave. Disco clubs play disco! 80's night plays 80's etc. etc. Plus I like to mix it up and play to the diverse crowds that attend my events. I'm not there strictly for YOU only.

When requesting a song please be SPECIFIC. Don't say"I want to hear something, ANYTHING but this"! You can't complain if you can't be specific.
However, if you are specific and I tell you I don'thave it - don't say "What"?! What do you mean youdon't have it? What kind of DJ are you? Why don'tyou work fast food ? You obviously don't know whatyour doing".
At that point I might KILL you!

Special Notes:
Club DJs are expected to play EVERYTHING forEVERYBODY. It is impossible to satisfy all of thepeople all of the time, yet i'm expected to do just that. If a radio station plays a song over and overand over and tells you that it's good the majority ofpeople believe it. However 95% of the time I wasdropping that song in the clubs months before it hitthe airwaves and radio has discovered it. So give theDJ a break! Next time you wish to request a songTHINK before you speak.

And last but not least and above all.......... If Ihave one hand on the mixer, one hand on a turntableand my headphone to my ear........ DO NOT BUG ME.
I'm working....................